EXPECTATIONS BY NNENNA MOIZE (RE UPLOAD)

The older we get the more the search for someone who we can share the rest of our life with becomes cardinal. 
   It is safe to say that in today's world 'the game' has changed drastically, most of our parents probably met at university or were high school sweethearts who ended up with their own little version of 'happy ever after'. However with technology and our generation’s heavy reliance on the media to teach us life lessons the basic concepts that were in place in older generations are not present in modern day. 
   One of the main issues I've noticed amongst the young adults in our generation who are dating is their expectations from their partner. I've heard my parents speak time and time again about their own dating experiences and the one thing both of them seem to draw back to is that whilst dating they were searching for someone who had potential. With everything being so fast paced in our generation we inevitably crave a partner who is essentially 'ready made', meaning: great job, good car, nice house, no bad habits. Just someone who's good to go. Now who am I to say that doesn't exist? Some of you are looking at your partners and thinking, "What's she talking about I found that," however truth be told you probably didn't, the person they are today most likely came from hard work and patience on both ends. 
  I am fully aware of the fact that not everyone wishes to settle down, however if you are someone that does be realistic about your expectations and search for the right things in a future partner. So many relationships fall apart nowadays because people go in searching for the wrong things; they place heavy emphasis on variables and ignore constants. I can not sit here and tell you what you should be searching for in a partner as, but I can give you a few pointers; instead of looking for someone who's one hundred percent financially stable look for someone who's working towards that and is taking the correct measures to be there. That's the ambition we all want in our partner. Presentation is important but instead of worrying about how well they dress focus on their beliefs and morals, these are the things that make a relationship, dress sense is a variable that can easily be changed. Allow futile issues fall by the wayside and focus on the things that will matter in the next 20 years. 
   Whilst studying in America I remember an athlete saying to me, "the problem with females now is they see us broke in college and aren't interested, they don't want to ride out with us till we become that man on ESPN." The truth is who the person you're with is today isn't who they'll be in the next ten years and this goes for both sexes, dating someone who seems "perfect" now doesn't mean they won't be an overweight couch potato living off benefits tomorrow, however when you go in search of constants such as; their morals, ambition, mindset etc with hard work the change is more times than not positive. 
  My mother has always told me that the man I call 'dad' now was not the man he was when they first met, everything from sense of style to his financial situation indicates growth. Now she stands proudly next to a good man that loves and provides for his family. A man she grew with and had faith in. 
  As I said earlier, we live in a media saturated generation where we are taught to emulate couples like Beyonce and jay-z and completely overlook the hard work they put into getting there. Men are more focused on dating a woman who looks great in every picture and fills their friends with envy rather than a woman with a good head on her shoulders, and women search for a man with money, perfect style and who is self made rather than someone with potential to become that man. 
Overall we must be realistic in our expectations and seek out the appropriate traits, focus less on variables and more on the constants that will be there in 20 years. 

"When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are." - Donald Miller