HOW STRONG IS YOUR TEAM - PAUL OLASEHINDE (23/02/2015)

In recent times I have been seeing a lot more emphasis on friendship denoted by the word ‘squad’ or ‘team’. To me this is quite heart warming that as young people, we see the need to have a strong group of people around us whom you can consider a part of your circle. However, I've been led to wonder if this is just 

for show. 

Are people more interested in the look rather than the substance of 

having a squad? Are we caught up in the attention we gain for the picture captioned ‘squaaaaa’? I certainly hope not because while you and your friends are racking up the likes others are mocking your so-called friendship group. 

First and foremost I mean no disrespect. It’s perfectly fine to have a picture of you and your friends which crossed the 100 likes barrier in 30 minutes, I’m only here to make sure we’re thinking about the substance behind that. I understand this may not apply to all as most things never do, but hopefully it provokes thought as to how close your team is. Too many friendships are based on popularity and its easy to see this by the way their ‘team’ dismantles and then engages in who can expose the most about the other; things which were most likely said in confidence might I add.

You and your friends might take a decent photo, but can you confide in them or ask for advice on serious issues? This doesn’t determine whether your friendships are real or not because it’s not everything you need to tell those around you, but that’s for another day. You should be able to rely on your circle in different ways to how you would with other people and not only when its picture time.

I would assume there are a lot of people with issues in their squad or that there are sub teams within friends, which is never healthy. All this creates is backbiting and disputes, people then take sides and then there is division. In spite of this, some people won’t speak up because they believe those people to be their ‘day 1’s’. It’s important to understand like any sports team or team of any sort, that Sometimes things need to be shaken up. 

The way you start will not always be the way you finish. Those who you thought would always be around end up out of the picture leaving yourself thinking, ‘how did I ever have them around for that long in the first place?’ I’ve seen scenarios when a group of people come together out of convenience and believe to be friends with each other because they’re always around rather than them actually adding something to your life. 

 In time, it will always show that maybe you were rather associates than friends. We throw ‘friend’ around too easily and attach it to people we really shouldn’t. If I introduce a friend to someone else you would tend to say ‘Hey, this is my friend Jonathan’ however, Jonathan may only really be a colleague, but maybe to 

not sound so harsh we use the term friend. But before you know it, you’re surrounded with a bunch of Jonathan's whom deep down aren’t really your friend, but you stay around because they’re a familiar face. You stay around because when its time to hit that 4-5-1 formation in a photo, nobody knows it better than Jonathan. 

I guess I may have come across quite harsh and critical, but I feel it is needed because I see a lot of us short changing ourselves out of convenience or because of how long they’ve known someone. If you’re using those as a parameter to measure friendship please stop! Having the right people around you, people you can trust, who aren’t just interested in you because you make up the numbers is key to your happiness. Each day can be made or broken by a friend, and when you can look around and say ‘squaaaaa’ even if its just you and two others, its substantially better then looking around and thinking ‘but who can I really talk to about this?’ 

I speak not to you, but to myself also. It’s something that needs checking every now and then because people change more than our beloved English weather. At the end of the day, those 100+ Instagram likes or Twitter retweets won't be there to ask you how your day was or help you do your make up. So have a look around and ask yourself how strong your team is. Your friends should 

compliment you and add something to your life, while generally being on the same wavelength. In saying that though, I guess if you’re happy pretending to be friends with some and all the members of the group have the same intentions, then I guess it could work, right?