CHANGE -JULIET AMPONSAH-GYASI (23.06.16)

Change is inevitable. It can be uncomfortable, unsettling, confusing and easily misinterpreted. But at the same time it could mean something completely different. 

Change is inevitable. It can be life-changing, inspiring, heart-warming and a chance to learn something new.

In both circumstances, whether positive or not: Change is undoubtedly inevitable.

Often in my life and probably yours too, it’s easy to fall into patterns and routines that bring about pretty much the same result over time. But when we carry out these routines, and we don’t get what we expected or what we wanted, we’re thrown into some kind of state of confusion. We ask questions (the who’s, the what’s, the when’s) but how often do we seek out the why or how? Why am I reacting to the change in this way and how could I have approached it differently?

I have very recently become a believer that change comes in order to allow us to grow. Change comes in order to force us out of our comfort zones. Change comes in order to allow us to learn from our past in order to act accordingly in the present.

Ultimately, change comes in order to allow us to move on.

Though it’s not easy to recognise it may be for the better, it’s important to realise that we have no control over when it will eventually come. As human beings, it’s in our nature to want to know the next step and to feel in control of the situation, when in reality we have no such control over whether or not a particular circumstance may change the direction in which we were going. As confusing as it may seem, embracing the fact you have little control over what will happen next may actually help you continue to progress, rather than stubbornly sitting down and insisting things will go exactly as you wish them to. 

See the thing is, in believing you have ultimate control over everything, you fail to seek and weigh up all the available options. You can become set in your ways, refusing to accept that another way is better. There may come a time when your way can no longer work at all, and because you didn’t think of any of the other options before, you feel utterly at a loss and have an even greater sense of not being in control after all. You’ve limited your options and you’re not able to choose another pathway so easily when you’ve gone so far with one line of thinking.

When you allow yourself to realise you don’t have ultimate control, you begin to seek out option 1, 2, 3 and 5 in trying to get where you need to go. You consider other routes more naturally and can weigh up the pros and cons of them all. If one way doesn’t work out, you can always use another, with modifications if need be. You may not have all the answers but you can always seek help since you know you’re not the one controlling each path, but you do have control of which path you choose to follow, just as you have a choice in stopping and following another path if you wish.

Allowing yourself to be open to your lack of control seems to allow us to be more adaptive, more creative and have better control over ourselves and how we react to particular situations. Though our circumstances may change, we’ve probably already considered these possible changes and so we are more able to adapt and display the knowledge we have learnt from previous changes too.

So as I have said all the way through: Change is inevitable and pretty uncontrollable. But if you accept that you have no direct influence on it, it almost becomes easier to accept and a lot easier to work through. It takes a little time to come to terms with the fact that all your plans won’t necessarily always go the way you hoped, but over time you may come to realise: that was how it was supposed to be. Change is as great a teacher and it challenges us to consider things we may not have seen before. It is only my sincere hope that the changes that are about to happen in your life are received with a mind as open as your eyes in perceiving and receiving what the potential change in circumstance has to offer.

Peace and Love,

Abenaa B x