The Art of Letting It Go - Damilola Gbadamosi (19/06/2015)

At some point in life we will all find ourselves hung up over someone or

something, and someone will say that oh to familiar phrase “let it go”. Whilst we

often would like to, the art of “letting it go” however is far easier said than done.

Still over the years I have found that adopting some habits and techniques, when

I need to get something off my chest or out of head, have been invaluable.

 Don't Be A Hoarder:

Be it electronic hoarding of pictures, and texts with someone you

need to cut off, or physical mementos and items from an unhealthy

habit, Or maybe even old friends whose life goals now contradict

yours. It’s in your best interest to identify when things and people

are no longer playing a positive role in your life and remove them.

Hoarding will only lead to lots of reminders and temptation to stay

hung up on your problem or trapped in your current habit.

 Find A Productive Distraction Or Outlet:

Sometimes plain old distraction is the best thing to help you let go.

You might find that keeping yourself occupied with work or a

hobby is sufficient. Alternatively, finding a constructive outlet like

exercise for frustration will keep you channelling your energies in

a safe way and give you an alternative set of goals to concentrate

on.  If you keep something out of your mind love enough

sometimes it just stays out.

Accept things you cannot control (and give the ones you can your best effort): 

Knowing the difference between situations you can affect and

change and the ones you cannot makes it easier to let things go.

Sometimes the things we obsess about the most were things we

had no power over in the first place. When you realise that

something’s are just not up to you, it helps you accept outcomes

quicker. You’ll also find that this acceptance will make you able to

do the things in your control better, cause you focus your effort on

the right things.

Manage Your Expectations 

Humans, systems, and life are all imperfect and eventually one of

them will disappoint you. It doesn’t mean you cannot have

standards or expectations, but accepting that they will not always

be met will leave you disappointed less often. Additionally, avoid

putting anything on a pedestal, it just gives them further to fall and

makes you less realistic. Remembering your expectation and

standard cannot be forced on others is also important. You’ll find

yourself less frustrated this way.

 Don’t Fake It:

What ever you do, do not pretend to let go of things rather than

actually doing so.  The effort pretending to let go is wasted and

would be better spent actually letting go. Pretending means

bottling up emotions, which will eventually come out as passive

aggressive behaviour, leaving you acting childish and irrational.

When it comes to letting things go, you cannot “fake it till you

make it”.

Letting go is the best was to ditch emotional baggage, and stop life weighing

down on you. So be it your friends annoying habits, your boss’s tendency to say

dismissive things or an old relationship, pick your battles and let the rest go.

“The day I understood everything was the day I stopped trying to figure

everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go.”

― C. JoyBell C.